So, say you know someone who is a real schmuck. And then you find out that they are going through something extremely difficult. So the next time you see them, you greet them with a smile, feeling e'er so sympathetic and ready to just smother them in good Christian love. And then they speak. You're taken aback, but continue the conversation, just certain that this trial they are enduring will somehow require them to show at least some small chink in the ego they so proudly adorn themself with. And then they speak again. And you realize: Nope, still a schmuck.
So what are the requirements of love here? Does one have to somehow overcome believing that someone is a schmuck in order to show true loving kindness? If you know someone needs help, are you somehow obligated to offer it, even if being around them sets your teeth on edge? And reach out to them, knowing that they've alienated most of the people in the vicinity and are probably (somewhere deep, deep inside) feeling alone? Or is kindness just backing away slowly, knowing that with your lack of control over your tongue, you may just do more harm than good? Thoughts?
7 comments:
hi jasie, long time reader first time poster...
i've found in situations like this that backing away is often the best thing to do. don't force your kindness on them. when you see them be kind and serve them but don't run up and hug them and tell them how wonderful they are. they'll smell you a mile away.
loving your enemies is a tough thing. jesus washed judas' feet but he didn't stop him from betraying him. one must wash the feet of an enemy but one must also let them do what they must do.
having delved into the realm of schmuckitude myself from time to time, if anyone coughed or rolled their eyes i'll know, one knows when they are being unbearable. their unbearable nature is often a reflection of their inner turmoil. sometimes they're just plain jerks. give them up to God. pray for them. but under no circumstance should you say "i'm praying for you" they might eat you for lunch.
hi by the way.
alex
Alex -
Good point - people definitely sense insincerity pretty easily and quickly. It's so frustrating when the desire is to 'sincerely' love your neighbor, but it's just not forthcoming. Which begs the age old question: what does it mean to sincerely love someone? I don't believe it's about feeling loving, but when the emotion is absent, we're back to the problem of insincerity and its detectability. Hmmm...
Oh Jasie!!! If you had any idea what I've been going through for the past two weeks you would smile and maybe laugh. I guess you should take comfort in knowing that you have just asked a VERY relative question! I wish I had an answer.
what is that girl madaline doing wearing my hat. where did it get found?
what do we do with col. 3 is basically what you are asking. how do we forebear patiently with one another when one in the relationship isn't patient nor forebearing. how do we forgive those who do not seek forgiveness, nor wish to become what the Beloved has intended: a giving forgiving being nurtured in the love of Christ.
true love is rarely about feeling. true love is about action. "you SHALL love." this is not an inactive command. Christ calls us to love and in our love leave behind all our notions of the other and love purely with intent of servanthood. it is only when love is rebuffed by selfishness, either our own or the other, that love stands rejected.
first check your motivation in loving the other. why are you seeking to show the other love? is it for your sake or is it for the sake of the other? often times i find myself loving the other for my sake. over and over again i have to look at my life and seek why i am loving or seeking to be loved by the other. my selfish motivation kills love before it has a chance to bloom. do not love with selfish motivation! i cannot say that enough. i cannot follow that saying. it is Christ through me who loves the other. not i. it is only when i love Christ first that my love for the other will come through Christ.
p.s. did anyone ever send me my bag? if not then can you make sure it goes home with someone?
thanks. happy end of term!
Alex -
First:
Bellevue + Forgotten Item = Nacho Hat
Second:
Tori took point on the bag. Don't know if it got sent, but if not I'll ask her to take it with her for you.
Third:
Excellent points... Not being a night person, I'll have to mull them in the light of day and respond later.
G'night!
bellevue + stolen item, i.e. jason= my hat
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