Karryn read about the topic of forgiveness from NT Wright’s new book Evil and the Justice of God this morning during the prayer meeting, and it got me thinking about some of the twists and turns I’ve taken in life. I’ve spent the majority of the last 30 years careening between extremes of rebellion and trying desperately to ‘fit’ the Christian mold, with nothing really working to make me feel like a worthwhile human being. It wasn’t until I came to l’abri that things changed in a permanent way, and as Karryn spoke I flashed back to a conversation I had with Greg at the beginning of my tenure here during which I was railing against God and the idea of forgiveness. I held tightly to my shame, and felt like I deserved it and had no right to forgive myself. To which Greg responded “Well, who gave you the right to condemn yourself?” A fairly earth shattering question, that. It pinpointed the problem – I was playing God in my own life. In some way I felt that if I continued to judge myself I could eliminate the need for a savior. I could both set and pay my own penalty. Ultimate pride. Ultimate despair.
As I was pondering this morning, I thought about how many people come through our doors staggering under the weight of shame. And how many people I know in general, Christian or not, who struggle with the choices they’ve made and how to live with them. And how poorly the church at large communicates the grace of God. We focus so much on sin that we tend to make people feel like worthless jerks instead of the infinitely valuable creation of God that they are.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Who Gives You The Right?
Posted by Jasie at 4:50 PM
Labels: Musings, Spirituality
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2 comments:
Jasie,
Many people carry their pride, shame and other sin around and it hangs onto them like a dead animals. It doesn't take long for those animals to start stinking to high heaven. They get to where they can't stand themselves and the only people who they are comfortable around are those who also have numbers of dead animals draped over their bodies.
Christ tells us that we cast off our unwanted baggage and it will be as if it were never here. The sweetness of be one of His children is indescribable. Suddenly you can smell, see, hear, touch and taste the wonders of his creation that were hidden from you before.
I loved your story.
JEP
You are right about us telling God what we are and aren’t worthy of being forgiven for... and "Who does give us the right?" So many do not know how or even feel worthy enough to receive God's grace and forgiveness and then therefore do not know how to extend it to themselves nor others. This spirals them to the destruction of self-esteem and destruction of relationships, while instilling a fear in the receiver that they are “worthless jerks” as you put it. For those who need a reminder of such things, you have inspired. Praise God for those that have opted to show grace and forgiveness to themselves and others rather than to ridicule and shame. Not to sound cliché, but what a “burden to be lifted” when we allow Jesus to fulfill his purpose… to carry our burden and free us from all guilt and shame. Shame on us for shaming ourselves and others!!
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