Anger

I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

                                         1 Timothy 2:8

Tuesday we had a formal meal during which the question revolved around anger and forgiveness. The crux of the matter for many there was that they were angry at the church, and for whatever reason found Christians much more difficult to forgive than non-Christians. To be honest, I also feel a greater degree of anger towards someone who purports to represent God and then behaves awfully than someone who just behaves awfully on their own account.

Yesterday I met with one of my tutees, and she came in railing about her 'angry week'. Primarily, angry at the (North American) church for an apparent lack of regard for the environment, social justice and other issues, as well as being angry at the way so many answers get tied up neatly in a little bow when in fact the truth is much more complex.

Finally, last night I was talking with a friend about the behavior of some of the people she had been around, and she basically said "If I didn't know more about Christianity than these people and these attitudes, I would certainly not be a Christian."

These voices all belong to people who are committed Christians - people who definitely don't want to be a part of the problem or just sit around and whinge. Frankly, I'm angry too. And often I feel like more people should be angry. We should be royally pissed about the injustice and corruption in the world - and in the church. But then where do we go with it? It's too easy to become overwhelmed. The problem is too big. Do we give up? Stop attending church? Or more... stop believing in God?

I tend to try to break things down into what I can do. How do I love these people who are both my brothers and sisters in Christ as well as, in some ways, my enemies. We're all too practiced in turning on each other in righteous indignation over each other's faults, but where/how do we begin to start banding back together despite our differences? What place should anger take - to what end?

Personally, I don't know how to resolve it all. My sphere of influence is pretty small, and tackling the larger problem seems beyond me.  I don't want to lose my passion for things I believe are good and important, but I want it to propel me towards positive action and not just leave me cynical and furious. So maybe it's a cop out, but the best thing I know to do at this point in my life is just pray. Pray for change, pray for forgiveness where I'm the problem, and pray for wisdom moving forward, both personally and as a member of the body of Christ.