I am, therefore I doubt

I just came across this article in the opinion section of the International Herald Tribune by John Patrick Shanley. It was interesting, and I agree with him that we all too often succumb to a false dichotomy (absolutizing and embracing an either/or). Most people I know, myself included, talk a great deal about the fallacies of black and white thinking amidst the reality of so many grays, yet somehow there is a gap between our cognitive understanding of the tension of life and our seemingly deep seated desire for demarcating right and wrong in such a way that we can be assured that we are on the 'right' side. As he says,

There is a tendency in our time and perhaps throughout time to simplify. We all want it simple. We want to know what to do.

However, he perhaps is creating a false dichotomy of his own between doubt and certainty.

Doubt is not paralysis. Certainty is. Doubt keeps the doors and windows open. Belief is one room with no way out.

I would want to affirm the importance of doubt - as Christians we have all too often stifled honest questioning - but not at the expense of certainty. My certainty - my beliefs - do not lock me into a cell apart from the world, but instead open the world to my understanding in a richer way as I see the relationships between so many different systems and disciplines. I want to strive for an ever-increasing consistency between my beliefs/knowledge and the world around me, not to "be an overwhelming bounty of... conflicting theories." I want a worldview that coheres, and embracing absolute doubt works no better now than it did in the heyday of Enlightenment thinking. Even if we can think that way, we certainly can't live that way. Reality doesn't allow it.

Finally, I would agree with his statement that, "True spirituality is present, it's alive and observant", but not that "having a spiritual life is not about making up your mind once and for all". I don't want dogma that excludes reason, but nor can I embrace a spirituality without any certainty. I can't be so closed as to shut the door to evidence that conflicts with my beliefs, but I can certainly have confidence in my faith. True spirituality requires a greater referent and teleos than myself, and I don't know that I want to live a "life that emanates from [my] interior greatness." Frankly, my interior ain't all that great.